| I've been getting up at 4-5am the past few days. I like the fact that I get to watch the first light set in. Makes me ponder alot, maybe even excessively.
Feeling quite apprehensive about the whole return deal. Unlike the past where there was so much to look forward to, this time round it just seems rather bleak. Please don't get me wrong, I definitely miss returning to my family, zhongming and xiaoming. It is more of the fact that this semester didn't go as smoothly and well as I'd preconceived it to be and the addition of caught up confrontations that soured the taste of coming back.
I have no idea how it's going to be like but I'm glad that through this semester, I've found myself even more in Christ. I don't want to deny the fact that YI is great but the truth is this, we have so much to improve on. The moment we treat service as common, we lose passion/hunger/desire for God.
I'm not going to groan and whine about why we're not like other churches. Instead, I'm going to pray even harder for God to move and for Him to use me to make a larger difference in our church.
Most importantly, I want to have a positive influence and impact on the people around me. Realised that after this year, I probably have more detesting me than befriending me. It's time to rise up and be like Jephtath. |
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| Today I received some news from a person I've yet to communicate with for awhile. Sucks to know that you've made a negative impact on someone's life that probably scarred them. I feel terrible after reading such things.
Makes me wonder if I'm even doing any good or having a positive impact on people's lives. All it takes is just one situation to bring you down.
I hope that this would end here today. |
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| wa best price! this is too dejavu for me to handle.
leaving half way thru the convo and going offline? it's your word against mine. i don't need any of this seriously. i've had enough from 05-08. i don't need another one to bring me to my grave. maybe when u've grown up then we can start talking like adults. i don't owe a single thing to you. |
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| don't think anyone really comes here so i'm posting this here. i think you're unreasonable that you don't clarify at all. i think it's not worth my time and energy going through something that i totally dislike in the past. i think it's time to just drop the cloak and escape. i think i'm full of crap.
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| returning this time round feels a little different. maybe it's all these influx of activities lined up at church. then church camp in two weeks.
i pray that this desire will not die, but grow stronger. it will become an influential movement not a bypassing phase. i pray that everyone will open up and take notice of how much more can be done. to never be satisfied.
what i can't find in the girl next door, or in the best grades or the highest paying job. i find in You. |
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